Family Organizing

Three years ago I posted about our Family Bank Account system here. Since then we have simplified this system. This new system fits our family better in our current stage. I share these thoughts with you in the hopes that you will find ideas for making your family life a little easier and more organized.

1. We now give the children money each week based on their age. They age out of this at 18! They get a $1 per year of life each week. For example, our son who is 10 gets $10/week. This money is used for saving, charitable giving and for spending on items they need or want like clothing, tickets to movies or outings with friends and birthday or Christmas gifts for friends or family. They have chances to earn more money with extra jobs at home. Our teenagers have found jobs outside the home as well.

As part of learning to save money the boys are required to have an emergency fund. This is an amount they have to keep in the account for emergencies. Little children don't have many emergencies but once they are teenagers it seems like these happen more often! Also, we have taught them to plan for the future. One son is going to college. We've looked up the cost of the school he wants to go to. He knows what he needs to save for college and has been working on a plan to reach that goal.

The boys have their own bank accounts. This has made my life easier. We have a set amount that comes out of our bank account each week that goes into the account for each son. Then if a child needs new shoes he can see if he has enough money and he can pay for them. It's nice that it's not a hit to our account each time this comes up. Plus, as I mentioned in the first post about family organizing, that child has a real sense of ownership and understanding of what things cost. This is such a valuable lesson.

2. Each week a son has a chore he is in charge of. It's either taking out the trash/recycling, picking up the floors, folding laundry or getting the mail and dusting. You could work this for whatever jobs you want your kids to get good at. I know one family who divides up meal time with setting the table, clearing it, wiping it down after a meal, etc. The job/chore rotates each week so the boys get to help with everything at some point. They have to make sure to get their job done before screen time. (And we have a limited amount of screen time each day but that is a can of worms for another post!) One reason we had the day divided up was to help the children have motivation to get to bed on time. They were able to earn money if they did this. Instead, we now have a routine. About 30 minutes before bed we have a family prayer. Then the boys do what they need to do to get ready for bed. If they are all ready and in bed on time I read with the youngest or let the older ones read to themselves for anywhere from 15-30 minutes. Our bedtime problems have mostly gone away. We don't have to keep track of who stayed in bed or not. The boys seem to like the routine. To be read to and then tucked into bed seems calming for our youngest son who struggles at night. This is often a good time for questions and one on one time with a parent. I used to be so tired at the end of the day that I didn't want bedtime to take a while. But, by structuring what we do, it probably takes less time than it did before when we had kids coming out after they'd been tucked in. You may do different bedtime things, but whatever you do, it helps a child to have a routine to let him or her know it's time to wind down.

3. Speaking of routines, I've found it very helpful to have a weekly schedule on the refrigerator. It's in the middle of the kitchen so everyone sees it. It's on a magnetic whiteboard so it's easy to change each week. It includes the jobs the boys need to do. I see the boys checking it often. And now that we have kids working, piano lessons, basketball practice, play practice, tennis lessons, and on and on, we need a way to stay organized!!! And by writing it all out we can see just how busy we are. We've started not doing things that don't bring us joy or add value to our lives. By saying no to activities we are saying yes to family time and down time that we all desperately need. Our days start around 5am every day and it's been healthier for us to say no and have time for things like walks, relaxing by watching a show together or playing games. With one son graduated from high school and another who is a senior I feel the days are going too quickly. They are going to be living away from us too soon. We are trying to savor every moment with our sons.

4. We are also savoring the moments together as a couple. A friend recently passed away from cancer. It shouldn't take something as heart breaking as that to remind us that life is short. Now his wife is a young widow. I'm sure she wishes each day she could talk to her husband again, hug him, do something sweet for him or go get dinner together at a favorite place. When we have someone we love in our lives it makes life sweeter to make time for this person and to appreciate the gift of this relationship. I guess that's what's been driving the changes in our family system. We are simplifying and being very intentional about what we spend our time and money on. We are trying to focus on what matters most.

Christmas Ideas

Hookey

BulziBucket

Family games are a great Christmas gift idea. Here are two that we've enjoyed playing this year:

1. Hookey. With six soft rings for each player to throw at the board you don't have to worry about damage to your walls. There are several different ways to play this game. It's fun for the whole family. 

2. BulziBucket. With three buckets to get your three soft hacky sack type balls into, hopefully you will connect with one of them! The smaller the bucket the more points you score. The buckets slide into each other to pack up and take with you in a bag. The concept is simple but that doesn't mean it gets old quickly! The only con is the price. It sells for around $60 on Amazon right now.

3. For card or table top games you might consider: 

Monopoly Deal. It's a quick card game. I know, that's hard to believe since the regular Monopoly game is anything but quick! Try it-I bet you'll enjoy it! 

Bananagrams. This game is like Scrabble but instead of taking turns everyone makes words with the tiles in front of them. You have to keep taking tiles every time someone uses all his or her tiles. Once the draw pile is gone the first person to use all his or her tiles by making (legitimate) connected words wins!